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I’m waitin’ for my rug
Is someone takin’ me for a mug?
Bought it on ebay, four days ago
Startin’ to wonder if it’s ever gonna show
I’m waitin’ for my rug

Hey, white van, what you doin’ up West?
Hey, white van, you got my rug in that chest?
“No, pardon me sir, I ain’t got no rugs
I’m only down this way to buy me some drugs”
I’m still waiting for my rug

Got me a desk, got me an office chair
Put in my bedroom, so I can write in there
Those wheels are hard, those wheels are crude
I need a runner so the floorboards don’t get screwed
I’m waitin’ for my rug

Went on the web page, looked up carpets and stuff
Cheap and cheerful, hard-wearin’ and tough
Check the expected delivery date
But the thing with online shoppin’ is you always gotta wait
I’m waitin’ for my rug

Went on the web, looked on the trackin’ site
Said it’s dispatched, said it’s been out all night
It’s on its way, it’ll be fine
Comin’ tomorrow but that’s just another time
I’m waitin for my rug, my feet are cold